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Have a voiceover with every shot which is the middle of a scene. The film would follow a child through to adulthood. From being born to dying, but the majority of the film playing through the time spent at school. The start and end of the film of childhood and adulthood will be fast paced, with a voice over for each moment. The film would slow down and flesh out the time spent at college, specifically relationships and figuring out the future. In doing this it will be from the perspective of a teenager. Everything before college is perceived as a a fast paced blur, but life seems to slow down as the reality of growing up dawns on everyone. It is this passage of slow time before launching into the harrowing pace of adulthood. This structure of fast, slower, fast, will be good for portraying the period of time the year thirteens are in. If I follow a child through school for the majority of the film, to add comedy I could have a very fast paced comedic summary of the rest of the characters life. It will cut from a slow paced sentimental ending as the character finishes school in a positive way, to the character’s life going off the rails in a very hectic final sequence. It would add comedy and be a surprising juxtaposition for the audience. Two The purpose of making a film to span a lifetime is defeated if only the school years are focused on. Instead, the film will just focus on the task of school and growing up through dealing with relationships. This was the main message of the original idea, but has been distilled, into the over arching theme of growing up and what that means. Each moment will be like the middle of a scene, a snapshot of what is occurring so that only the most important parts are captured. There will be a voiceover for each scene, in an attempt to add comedy and context. Three The main conflict of the film is relationships, being a short film with little time, I believe it will be better to focus mainly on the relationship and breakup. The sub-plot of deciding upon life after school can still be explored, but the majority of the film will revolve around a break up and dealing with the fallout. A voiceover will still be used, but there will be some images that can stand to tell a story on their own. Four Although the sub-plot of deciding upon life after school is interesting and relatable for the Noscar’s audience, it is not very cinematic. With the majority of the film focusing on the break up, the school sub-plot seems like a distraction that may do more to take away from the film than add to it. There is also the issue of the ending. Without the sub-plot of school and coming out the other side optimistic, there is currently no effective end for my film. A part of the break-up process is moving on. So instead of spending time on the sub-plot and only the immediate effects of the break up, I would rather add some longer term events of the break up. This would include not only the initial break up, but getting over the break up, moving on and finding someone else, followed by a second relationship. In doing this the message of the film would be more positive, with more turning points to drive the film, instead of just the break up. Having a second relationship introduces the opportunity to have a second break up, which I think would be a relatively unexpected, but funny way to end the film. It would allow the very first and very last shots of the film to be the same. With this change to the plot, there is in fact a plot instead of just the first turning point of the break up. The plot now goes: Relationship: Break up: Emotional Wreck/Getting Over Break up: New Relationship: Break Up Five The story line will stay the same, but I think the voiceover or type of voiceover should be changed. The current concept allows for somewhat lazy story telling, with the voice over doing a lot of the work. The voicover should not just explain what the audience is seeing, but add to it by being comedic, or different to what the audience is seeing. Instead of ditching the voiceover, to keep the audience interested and to differentiate my film from all the others, the use of a foreign language would be interesting. By using a foreign language I could still use a voiceover, but in a way that is unique and engaging. Voiceover is used this way in the short film, "A Lesson on Probability" which uses Spanish with subtitles instead of English. In this film the voiceover is relatively abstract, not just describing what is on the screen, but developing the story in a different and less literal way. Six The use of a foreign voiceover is relatively impractical, especially to the extent of spanning the entire film. There are also parts of the current concept voiceover that are to literal and descriptive. Moments of the film need voicover to make sense or be funny, but the voiceover is an all or nothing element of the film. It would not work if only certain parts of the film were voice-overed, but it is not always necessary and doesn’t always add to the film. My solution is to improve the film by not having a voiceover at all. The voiceover doesn’t do anything but describe what the audience is already watching, so it doesn’t serve much of a purpose. I think the film would be more impressive and cinematic if the story was told through images alone. The scenes that need a voiceover can instead have diagetic dialogue, keeping it to a minimum. Having minimal dialogue also means that there is still a possibility to use a foreign language, only having to learn a few words for each line of dialogue. It also means that the film can be shot in both English and a different language, as there is no lengthy dialogue. By doing this I think the film will have more depth and impact. It will be similar to the film Life’s a Bitch. Once the film has been shot and cut together there is always an opportunity to do a voice over if the film isn’t as good as it could be. If I were to do a voiceover I think I would get Mr Jones to do a David Attenborough nature documentary style voiceover. This would make the film less artistic, but would make it more enjoyable if it isn’t already. Having Mr Jones do a voiceover would also be a hit with the Noscars crowd, as no matter what he says, the context will make it funny. By doing a nature documentary style voiceover I would be able to avoid describing what the audience is seeing, putting a humorous twist on it. The combination of nature documentary voiceover and Mr Jones’ voice would make for a far more comedic film, but the goal is to pull off a film that is as good with it or without it. I would prefer to make an artistic film, but I have a feeling that the more comedic option would be more appealing to the Noscar’s audience. Seven Having a German voiceover instead of the nature documentary fits more with the style of the film, and will be unique for the Noscars audience, as there has never been a foreign language film at the Noscars. The storyline will stay the same with the same characters and events, but the point of difference will be the use of the German voiceover to narrate the film. Eight Adding music that cuts off with a door slamming noise will be a sudden shock for the audience as the break up occurs, especially of the music is upbeat and happy. It will add to the shock of the break up after the happy scene, conveying the feeling of the main character to the audience who will share in the surprise. As well as a cut to black which is an contrast in imagery, the sound cut will be very jarring. The music will also act as a motif in the film, being repeated during both relationships. It will signify the end of both relationships, so the audience will start to realize what is going to happen before the second breakup. It will add to the comedy of the moment as the music leads into the joke, which is the breakup.
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